Ok so we take a jump from school life to college life and more so hostel life
Well this was somewhat of a defining part of my life wherein I felt so many changes that I’ve never felt before
Living out from the house for the first time in life was an experience in itself
No no don’t think it was great it was for others but for me it was a total hell as I found out….
It may seem strange to you and to me also but why and how it went like that I don’t know! May be it was all in the mind and nothing could supersede that…..
When I left for vellore for MCA from delhi I was full of hope and dreams of how would life treat me there
Studies and all as expected were pretty competitive but the most difficult aspect of life that I faced was staying alive….
I wasn’t able to consume anything that I would eat there. I would vomit what ever I ate…..
Things were so bad that when I used to go to the mess I would be running to the wash basin after eating a bite to empty my stomach while others were filling theirs.
Strangely I had not been ill or sick and neither I had been allergic to something
On the site of the food I would fear to death and would be challenging myself again and again to eat it….
In the whole part of the day the time that I would fear the most was lunch and dinner as breakfast was more ok affair if not good as I would drink one glass of milk and 4 slices of bread…
Apart from studying survival was also one of my objectives. To study I had to live and to live I had to eat something.
So the schedule that chalked up was something like this:
Breakfast- 4 slices, 1 glass of milk
Lunch- 2/3 chapatis, bowl of dal, 3 bowls of curd, 1 full plate of cucumber..
Dinner – 2 chapatis, bowl of dal, 1 glass of milk, 3-6 bananas
And mind you this was the food that I was able to adapt a bit after a month there….
But that initial month was horrible I would not eat anything at all…
All I would do in a day was a glass or two of milk, some bread slices, maggi, juice and some itsy bitsy things
So one fine day for other and not for other we woke up to go to college campus…
But I could find myself feeling tired and dizzy, I asked Dahiya and neeraj to see whether I am having fever and they confirmed the same….
So here I was bed ridden. In the whole day I didn’t ate anything and was lying on the bed and if u come and stay in the hostel room in the day time when no-1’s around its tough like hell no one to talk to and nothing to do also apart from losing one precious day of studies.
Well I managed to spend the day and waited for the friends to come, in the whole day I had taken only cup of tea and some bread nothing else
So in the evening when every one returned and came to know of me 1 by 1 people entered and surrounded my bed as it was my last rites.
They requested, scolded, preached……me in their own way to let me have something and this is not the way to live…..
I still remember that day as almost everyone in my batch came to visit me and left me with a touch of care of friendship….guys I love u all and wont forget you…..
Friday, April 27, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Just got Bailed~Failed
Ok so we are back in school days….
It was 7th standard of my education and I don’t know how come this trend or notion was there in my head
That it gets tougher once you pass 6th and move into 7th grade, it is as if u are getting prepared for board exams
Suddenly I started realizing that I am finding it pretty hard to study and get good marks that I used to get before.
There was a sudden dip in my form and scoring prowess, it was not as if I was not able to study but I was finding it hard to score marks as freely as I used to score.
Also there was a trend in our school that after 6th there used to occur more no of unit test, class tests, surprise tests and I used to find myself in a very uncomfortable and inconvenient position at those times.
Confused as I was didn’t know what to do abt it, a lot of soul searching and I was amazed why my scoring ways were not the same as it used to be. I fondly remember as we were best of three frnds myself, vinay and Anshul I used to score the highest but it started to decline.
What was happening to me?
Why am I not able to pass with high marks?
Why am I struggling to find answers to questions in exam and in life?
But as it dawned on me like a dark cloud I knew within my inner conscious that I am not the same as I thought of myself, I am just an ordinary any one type guy….i was just AVERAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes this was the hard fact that I was running away from it
May be the studies were a bit lenient till now and I was getting marks pretty easily till now but not anymore
So there goes the story
One fine day to my surprise but not for others we had this unit test of science and in the middle of the exam I realized that I better do something or I’ll get somewhere in the middle(marks)
So by some courage I took out the class copy and started to find answers to some of the questions but not many times luck favors you and I was caught by this teacher who was not the science teacher but was a replacement for her to conduct exam as she was on leave.
I begged her and she forgave me as it was not a cardinal sin of copying or cheating in an end sem exam
But there was a trend in the school those days, any one caught cheating and 5 marks would be deducted and so too mine were done. I again asked for forgiveness and she obliged and cut of the -5 that she awarded me.
When the time came for ans scripts distribution the original teacher asked me how come I have this -5 striked off in the answer sheet? I could provide no answer to the question as any explanation could have fetched me -5 again… so I kept quite and she gave a beautiful lecture in the middle of the class…
After she finished she asked me didn’t I feel guilty to the thing and didn’t even feel sorry for the same..
Before I could say something this guy Rahul verma said “ mam he just said sorry, you were too busy to listen”.
To the disappointment of teacher she felt a bit bad about that and gave me back my answer, I went back and said thanks to Rahul in a gestured way. I knew and he knew I never uttered a word forget sorry….
All this happened and I was feeling a bit shy and shameful…but what the heck time to check out the marks
But no surprises here …………..AVERAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was 7th standard of my education and I don’t know how come this trend or notion was there in my head
That it gets tougher once you pass 6th and move into 7th grade, it is as if u are getting prepared for board exams
Suddenly I started realizing that I am finding it pretty hard to study and get good marks that I used to get before.
There was a sudden dip in my form and scoring prowess, it was not as if I was not able to study but I was finding it hard to score marks as freely as I used to score.
Also there was a trend in our school that after 6th there used to occur more no of unit test, class tests, surprise tests and I used to find myself in a very uncomfortable and inconvenient position at those times.
Confused as I was didn’t know what to do abt it, a lot of soul searching and I was amazed why my scoring ways were not the same as it used to be. I fondly remember as we were best of three frnds myself, vinay and Anshul I used to score the highest but it started to decline.
What was happening to me?
Why am I not able to pass with high marks?
Why am I struggling to find answers to questions in exam and in life?
But as it dawned on me like a dark cloud I knew within my inner conscious that I am not the same as I thought of myself, I am just an ordinary any one type guy….i was just AVERAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes this was the hard fact that I was running away from it
May be the studies were a bit lenient till now and I was getting marks pretty easily till now but not anymore
So there goes the story
One fine day to my surprise but not for others we had this unit test of science and in the middle of the exam I realized that I better do something or I’ll get somewhere in the middle(marks)
So by some courage I took out the class copy and started to find answers to some of the questions but not many times luck favors you and I was caught by this teacher who was not the science teacher but was a replacement for her to conduct exam as she was on leave.
I begged her and she forgave me as it was not a cardinal sin of copying or cheating in an end sem exam
But there was a trend in the school those days, any one caught cheating and 5 marks would be deducted and so too mine were done. I again asked for forgiveness and she obliged and cut of the -5 that she awarded me.
When the time came for ans scripts distribution the original teacher asked me how come I have this -5 striked off in the answer sheet? I could provide no answer to the question as any explanation could have fetched me -5 again… so I kept quite and she gave a beautiful lecture in the middle of the class…
After she finished she asked me didn’t I feel guilty to the thing and didn’t even feel sorry for the same..
Before I could say something this guy Rahul verma said “ mam he just said sorry, you were too busy to listen”.
To the disappointment of teacher she felt a bit bad about that and gave me back my answer, I went back and said thanks to Rahul in a gestured way. I knew and he knew I never uttered a word forget sorry….
All this happened and I was feeling a bit shy and shameful…but what the heck time to check out the marks
But no surprises here …………..AVERAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
It Feels like BUGged...!!!
Why does it happens that some things in life takes precedence over everything
they make life go haywire....
I know someone will pounce on me for various reasons there are
some are justified some will be not
why is it that all u do with whole heartedness seem to go waste if it fails for trivial things
as if the whole world has been turned upside down....
I think whatever u do how much effort u seem to put in it counts for nothing if the other person doesn't realizes the effort and importance u have given to it....
they make life go haywire....
I know someone will pounce on me for various reasons there are
some are justified some will be not
why is it that all u do with whole heartedness seem to go waste if it fails for trivial things
as if the whole world has been turned upside down....
I think whatever u do how much effort u seem to put in it counts for nothing if the other person doesn't realizes the effort and importance u have given to it....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)