Why doesn’t it come out?

Why doesn’t it come out?
Life is as what you make and I agree with that totally, but no one asks why does that ‘why’ happens?
Is it your attitude towards life or something else. By saying this I am not undermining the fact that life is not good or everyone is living a miserable one. It is for the fact that you come across more number of people whom you ask and most of the time the answer is –ve and none more than yours.
If it involves you that why is it that’s bothering you then I guess you might already know the answer as it is your own creation in your own way.
I for one is like a fork who has three never meeting ends and the day I become a spoon where every thing is converging I can have my soup, till then I just have to be content with life slipping like noodles from it.
But again we come to the same point, why is my life not better, why am I not feeling good.
You have your personal life, you have your social life and then you have your professional life.
Is there a problem in any of them? Or is there more to it?
Well if there is one thing then you can try to resolve it or think over it! But if it’s a cause of more than 1 or 2 or all then you’ll end up becoming a fork. Useful yet unuseful.

Full Circle

Well it is an old but true saying that life comes in full circle in different ways and different forms of life. Well as per the current happenings the talk of the town is definitely centered around cricket after we won the T20 championships. Much to the amazement and surprise of people we won but i don't totally agree with that ki as were no-hopers but still we won. Lets just look why:
1. An attacking player and after that(skipper) Dhoni...
2. Yuvraj - if he comes into his own then u don't know what he can do...
3. Uthhapa- Exciting young prospect
4. Sehwag - can do wonders at times....
5. Pathan - his all round skills wud be handy in 20-20 match
and that's not all we had good fielding coming along with them which was an added bonus. why i have given only these names is because it is a 20 over format and all it would require is for a couple of batsman to score in a few overs and the job is done. Bowlers i have not thought much is because it is still a batsman biased format till the end so they don't much have to say. So from all this i never agreed with those who said India wouldn't do well in this format.
Well that's gone now the excitement has again back shifted to the task in hand... and i.e Aussies..
the unltimate team to beat and for that we have to match them man to man,runs to runs, wicket to wicket...
The T20 semis victory still gives me more pleasure than anyother victory in that tournament just becuase of the fact that it was against the aussies.
They had so much over confidence going into the match that they actually forgot that it requires effort and hard work to still achieve ur goals( remembering the comments given by M.Clarke saying anything above 200 would be a concern for us)
i dont know why but i believe it is a mental block in the Indian team's pscyhe that we r unable to put it across them when we play them and to prove the point, here is a fact the last ODI we won against them from the current win in Chandigarh was way back in 2004 in Brisbane.. and to rub salt into the wounds we last one chasing against them was ages ago in 1998 when Sach single handedly won us the sharjah and stormed us into the final and won that also.... so it wud further take much much more effort to chase against them.
If we see in the current past we have beaten all the teams and i mean all the teams be it SA, WI, Eng(our current bunny), Pak(we have crushed them anywhere u name it), NZ(not convincingly but ok), SL(barring that World cup debacle we have smashed them also), Bang(Better not talk but play). So what it is against the aussies that we fail to put it across them, we can c that other sides manage to beat them more regularly than us so where lies them problem, may b in the mind , may be in the heart....
The answer from me is SELF-BELIEF, we give in even before the match is over
i still recall yesterday only when the aussies reqd 16 in the last over and James Hopes and Brett Lee batting everyone in the ODC were saying they wud win, they wud hit a couple of sixes and it wud be over. Ok my point is guys guys pls wait just think who is batting is not a symonds or hayden or gilchrist or ponting but lower order batsmen so give some chance to us also... and in the end everyone was happy but they had no words in their mouth to back what they r saying...
I dearly hope that this win would surely go a long way to give it....
The win in T20 has shown is this game is agr8 leveller
both the sides that once were trashers best story sellers of world cup debacle reached the final and played a great won... the intense pressure, intense competition was there to be seen by every-1
So no matter what ponting, symonds , gilly and team blabber that we r over-joyed by the victory of T20 just dunnot loose ur self-belief and keep working hard towards ur goal.
Let them say that but the fact is fact we beat them on the road to finals and no one and no one can change that. Their ego is hurt more than pride. they r the world champs and no one can deny that but we have in us to put it across them and we require is dedication, show that and we'll get the results....
I am always there for support and to this day i still feel that had Australia batted second in the 2003 and 2007 finals they surely would have lost either one of them(2003 more possiblity as India was in Tremendous form)

Ironical

life has come a full circle for me
what used to be past is staring to be done in future
some harsh decisions need to made
some facts to be revealed...
i can't run away from death anymore as it is the only truth in life.
but i live to lie another day
but where, from whom, till when
not for long!

There Goes another one

Well so where we were when we left the last post
College oh yes college and that flirt incident ;) but never mind I am not those types
So we’ll start from where we left
Well as I told that to catch a bus it was an effort in itself
But it was rather more interesting and exciting as you can get ample time to be with your friends and have a bit of fun
Well I was known for my naughtiness throughout my schooling and college wasn’t different at all
Just that the teachers their didn’t have the gumption to write on my collar ‘please don’t send this kid to school from tomorrow’
So what did I do exactly? Well to an extent there are a lot of incident but I will state a couple of those to start with
First week of college and myself and Gaurav out of our common hobbies (cricket, WWF, taklking etc..) were on road to become good frnds
There was this guy ankush who used to come from faridabad cross delhi and then to Sahibabad in UP a crossover of two states
He was a fool in himself who used to flaunt his long distance traveling achievements. He was one of those who used to think of so highly of himself.
One fine day he was waiting for his train to faridabad when suddenly as the train arrived one guy Mudit in our class told him that
‘anika’ one of the nice babes of our class was waiting for him in the other platform and foolishly he came to that platform and missed his train
Next day after narrating this incident I called on Gaurav after college and on reaching home that I am ankush and am waiting at the railway station
Some one has pick pocketed me and am left with no money at all, it would be great if he could come and help him out! To which mr. Gaurav took great caution
to listen but finally agreed to come. That’s another thing that I told him the truth before he could embark on that great journey towards station.
Now as I was known for my extra currcular activities one of which was naming people with funny names though it is an irony in itself that I also got my nick name
like this only but that’s another story another day ;)
So there was this guy nitin anand in our class very sober, looked calm & composed, self indulged in himself, ok in academics but somehow
He reminded of something, something living, no not a man but an animal! Yes he reminded me of a donkey who has all these great features in it.
So how can I leave such a person without naming ;) well this is also a trick to name a person and make it famous.
You first be friends with the guy and then start talking all the stupid things abt others so that he can feel at ease and in between the conversation
And then when u think it is suitable you spit out the name upon him among the company of ‘others’ so that not only him but others also know of it.
So the name to coin for him, any guesses well better leave it to me. With all the qualities that he possessed I pronounced his name as ‘Bhondu’
Which literally means idiot, stupid, nuts(that wud be 2 much). Yes he proudly called as bhondu by me. But he disliked it from the start itself.
But me being me the stubborn leg pulling prankster would call him bhondu not when only he is around but others are also there.
So one day when our classes got over we left for home and this guy was standing in the border waiting for bus, along with my buddy gaurava and one
other guy Himanshu. So I reached the place and from a distance where I can see them standing started calling him bhondu bhondu bhondu bhai…
by the time I reached there his anger had turned into a forgone conclusion as he also knew by the time that I wouldn’t be stopping for anything
there I met them and left for my place. The next day Gaurav tells me that I was saved from a beating, asked him why what happened?
He said laughingly when I was running towards them shouting bhondu this guy ‘himanshu’ asked him who the hell I was referring to whether to him?
Then to the utter disappointment from the horse’s mouth itself Nitin tells him don’t worry its not you who he is calling but me! ;( (expression on his face)

Long live the Great Bhondu………. ;))

times walk by....

In this life i have seen good times and bad times
all the good times reminds me of somethings
and that is bad times are just around the corner
it is not that good times are less but they are more or less part of my own efforts to hide the bad times
i am on a constant race b/w these two
i know this race is gng to end and i would be the only one standing!

Can you please drop me till the main road?

Can you please drop me till the main road?
This was the question that used to do rounds in my head when I was in the first of my BCA. Mine was a small college not a big one where I was doing my bachelors of computers. To travel to the place there were quite a few options available:
1. to catch a bus from just near my house and then catch another bus from shahadara.
2. walk to about 300-400 mtrs and then catch a direct bus.
3. from where ever u come the bus will leave you at a place where u have to catch another bus or an auto which takes people in huge numbers such that it seems almost impossible to fit in.
4. or leave all this and take a train but to reach the railway station u have to take a bus.
5. or take ur own personal conveyance available.
So how to return back just the vice versa but their was no single bus available that could drop me in near my place, for that we have to reach the delhi border and from there only we will get something. To reach the border catch an auto or a local bus. All this was part of the daily routine for me. Some people used to come by personal conveyance and some lucky ones like this one Nisha sharma had her own car given by her father with a schauffer. She was nice young lady with a nicer smile. She knew that she was pretty much pretty but she never boasted about it and was ok in studies and academics. She would come in her and a typical hindi movie scene would roll over me.
In all this while I forget one thing that she coming in car could actually help me in a way that if she can drop me to the border I can easily go home and won’t have to struggle much. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Actually how to speak to her as I was a bit shy so one day this great idea struck me as to if what I ask her to drop me till the main road and that way we can speak a bit also. But whats the use I always think of it but never executed the idea. Self-confidence man yes you require quite a bit of it what I used to say to me and my friends also. Well that never happened but fortunately or not we started to speak even if a bit of hi hello or airy wairy topics. So one fine day when the class got over I was going and saw her approaching her car, gathered a bit of courage and asked her if she could drop me till the main road?
She looked!! No not like that and said within 2 seconds sorry but my driver would let my father know of the same. Inside me I was saying(waah boss well try better luck next time ab chal foot yaha se teri kismet mein bis hi theek hain). Fine I said and headed from there, to my embarrassment not at that time but later almost all my friends were present there when this happened. They used this to pull me up like anything but its ok it happens. As natural didn’t ask her again for the lift, soon she left the college for some personal reasons and I came to know from my friend after some time that she was going around with a guy from our batch but her father is against them. Well that was ok to me as I wasn’t interested in her all I was bothered more was how much more time do I need to struggle to catch a bus?

Survival of the fittest

Ok so we take a jump from school life to college life and more so hostel life
Well this was somewhat of a defining part of my life wherein I felt so many changes that I’ve never felt before
Living out from the house for the first time in life was an experience in itself
No no don’t think it was great it was for others but for me it was a total hell as I found out….
It may seem strange to you and to me also but why and how it went like that I don’t know! May be it was all in the mind and nothing could supersede that…..
When I left for vellore for MCA from delhi I was full of hope and dreams of how would life treat me there
Studies and all as expected were pretty competitive but the most difficult aspect of life that I faced was staying alive….
I wasn’t able to consume anything that I would eat there. I would vomit what ever I ate…..
Things were so bad that when I used to go to the mess I would be running to the wash basin after eating a bite to empty my stomach while others were filling theirs.
Strangely I had not been ill or sick and neither I had been allergic to something
On the site of the food I would fear to death and would be challenging myself again and again to eat it….
In the whole part of the day the time that I would fear the most was lunch and dinner as breakfast was more ok affair if not good as I would drink one glass of milk and 4 slices of bread…
Apart from studying survival was also one of my objectives. To study I had to live and to live I had to eat something.
So the schedule that chalked up was something like this:
Breakfast- 4 slices, 1 glass of milk
Lunch- 2/3 chapatis, bowl of dal, 3 bowls of curd, 1 full plate of cucumber..
Dinner – 2 chapatis, bowl of dal, 1 glass of milk, 3-6 bananas
And mind you this was the food that I was able to adapt a bit after a month there….

But that initial month was horrible I would not eat anything at all…
All I would do in a day was a glass or two of milk, some bread slices, maggi, juice and some itsy bitsy things
So one fine day for other and not for other we woke up to go to college campus…
But I could find myself feeling tired and dizzy, I asked Dahiya and neeraj to see whether I am having fever and they confirmed the same….
So here I was bed ridden. In the whole day I didn’t ate anything and was lying on the bed and if u come and stay in the hostel room in the day time when no-1’s around its tough like hell no one to talk to and nothing to do also apart from losing one precious day of studies.
Well I managed to spend the day and waited for the friends to come, in the whole day I had taken only cup of tea and some bread nothing else
So in the evening when every one returned and came to know of me 1 by 1 people entered and surrounded my bed as it was my last rites.
They requested, scolded, preached……me in their own way to let me have something and this is not the way to live…..
I still remember that day as almost everyone in my batch came to visit me and left me with a touch of care of friendship….guys I love u all and wont forget you…..